Are You in a Battle With Yourself?

Are you in a battle with yourself?

I am currently re-reading with our team “How to Win Friends and Influence People” the classic, timeless treasure, regarding human relations by Dale Carnegie.

I just finished a chapter that could also be entitled the “The Art of Handling Objections.”

How to respond in a meaningful way to achieve desired results. These are great lessons we often benefit from, reminding ourselves, ESPECIALLY in our type of “people” business, the importance of stepping into another man’s shoes.

Another reason people fail here is because they are unwilling to change. They are unwilling to put in the time and effort to become even more relatable to those they seek to have on and grow their teams. I’ve seen it over and over.

When I started in this industry over 25 years ago I was a hungry fighter pilot ready to prove everyone wrong for not wanting to join forces with me. I stiff armed and rejected those who disagreed with me. I, at times, was overbearing and it was my way or the highway mindset. Elke, my wife, and I argued on how to handle a person or situation often creating great frustration amongst us. Can anyone here relate? It was quite frankly awful at times. As I reflect, it was I who was awful.

I knew something had to change - that I had to change. It wasn’t the people outside myself - it was myself. And so I put in the effort. Through FIVE years of diligent studying, attending countless seminars, adjusting my outlook and philosophy nothing seemed to change - until one day when it did. Five years is a long time when you’re hungry and you want your business to take off now and having to watch others entering other teams excel right passed you. Frustration and discouragement doesn’t begin to encompass that level of annoyance and disappointment.

But that time invested (and ongoing) is not without waste. It was what I needed to better understand human relationships and to realize the world does not revolve around what I want - but making the world revolve around what others want is key. That initial change was all over 20 years ago now. And here I am - still learning and growing to not just make myself better - maybe more importantly, understanding how to improve lives in a way that wants them to be better.