Attracting Your Soulmate

What is the secret to being found or finding your soulmate?

I was up early this morning when a Facebook post caught my attention. It asked, do we find or are we found by our soul mate? My immediate thought was we attract who we are so we better get that part right – first!



Your subconscious mind will unconsciously send you signals and provide you guidance when meeting someone new, your gut instincts. Even when the attraction piece is overwhelming, most often, people in a broken relationship will mention that there was something in their gut warning them but they ignored it.

Why is it so challenging to find the right, long term partner? I believe the answer lies in core values. In my book coming out in March, Discovering Your Authentic Truth, I devote two chapters to Relationships, the second being focused on intimate relationships.


Here is what I’ve discovered in my transformational work with others and my own experience gained from books, lectures, and people. We long to have a soulmate. One we can share our lives with. But many also reach a point in their lives where they are just done with the search. They’ve been battered and beaten one too many times or they are at a stage in their life where being comfortable alone, their own boss outweighs the danger of possibly letting that go.

I do believe we are meant to be loved and to love another on an intimate level. So why is this so darn difficult for so many? I believe the answer is in “Core Values.” Core values drive our behaviors, which drive our actions, and ultimately, drive our results.


Core values are as deep as you can go within your spirit and soul before coming to your I Am, your essential essence. Your I Am is love. Your core values are the result of your programming beginning upon birth. Core values include God, character, integrity, family, conscientiousness, discipline, authenticity, success, honesty, service, kindness, loyalty, fulfillment, forgiveness, honor, respect, and many, many more. 


As we age, this love core center of your I Am, begins to get cluttered with life, and for many, the longer they live, this clutter can all but bury their I Am to the point they’ve lost touch with it all together. This also makes understanding what your mind values most is masking your true core values.

There are techniques and ways for a guide to unearth what these true core values are in the context of intimate relationships. But, if you sat in meditative thought for long periods of time, you can unearth them yourself. And if you are one of these people searching for your soulmate, I strongly suggest you do.


You see, until you fully understand your core values around intimate relationships, you will not be in alignment with what you attract into your life. By first understanding what these core values are, you are that much closer to the love core that you are. At that level, your understanding of who you are is greater and in essence will help you fall in love with who you are. And if you don’t like what you find in this process of unearthing your core values, then it is your core values that may need adjusting.

Once you know who you are and what you value most in an intimate relationship, then you can meditate on the next step: determining what core values are most important to you in a partner. This is deeper than looks, money, or status. All that will come exactly as it is supposed to be once you realize both sets of core values.


From here, it is simply putting out the energy to the Universe in the form of questions and thought to attracting the man or woman of your dreams. He or she will possess the qualities you desire and, as a bonus, you will be sexually attracted as well.