You Are Where You Are Supposed To Be

“You are exactly where you are supposed to be.” The first time I heard that sitting in a classroom that was supposed to transform my life - well - to be honest, upset me. Actually, the words I said to myself was “F” you! That’s bullshit. You don’t know what I’ve been through! If I was where I wanted to be I wouldn’t be sitting here in your classroom!

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But I’ve come to realize, the wisdom in that statement is beyond just casual thought. How does it strike you? Are you like I was and feel a bit offended - or do you find yourself agreeing?

What does this statement truly mean? It’s heavy. It’s profound. Understand, this has nothing to do with where you “wish” to be, or even “desire“ to be. This is about comprehending your “being” and a reflection of how you ended up where you are - regardless of your health, wealth, environment, parents, job, friends, family, etc...in fact it is because of all those and much more that has you where you are today.

This simple statement is deep but after breaking it down one is left with a new knowing, a new understanding of themselves from a new frame of realization of how they arrived exactly where they are. As I said, first time I heard this I was quite taken aback. I didn’t get it. In fact it took me a while to truly comprehend its full meaning.

We are where we are supposed to be because each of our actions, our decisions throughout our lives had us arrive here, where we are today. This is the first step in taking responsibility for everything that has happened in our lives - external and internal. And it is only by taking full responsibility that ownership can take place. And with ownership now comes the ability to alter an unwanted pattern and/or begin making different decisions.

Without doubt some things are truly outside our control - the true events that happen to us - and no greater than our health. Poor choices along the way can certainly affect our health, but what if you are born with a disease, or deformity, or otherwise “healthy.” Or how about our race, culture, our environment? The dynamics of how we are introduced to this world are so varied it would be impossible to cover them all.

However, the self-victimizing of “Why Me?” is the greatest pitfall we can ever allow ourselves to fall into. Do we just sit back and play the blame game? We could and many do. But what about you? You’ve made it this far so keep reading.

How we have allowed ourselves to develop the handling of unwanted circumstances is within our control, and once we take responsibility for them, we can redirect our future’s path.

From there we begin to see where we are today. The stage is set for a transformation to occur.

You see, you are exactly where you are supposed to be based upon your decisions of each little step along your individual journey in life. When you begin to dig into what had you decide as you did, each year, each month, each day, each hour, of your living years, you begin to dissect an inner truth that goes way beyond and way deeper than simply “the man in the mirror” (or woman).

What drove those decisions? What created those actions that you did take at each of those moments? How about at one of those critical turning points in your life that takes place about every 7 years? A major turning point in your life?

By the time you’re 50, you’ve had anywhere from 7-10 of these events. And at the time of such, you may not have seen it as a “critical” decision, or maybe you did, but when you look back upon it now the realization is crystal clear that had you made a different decision you’re life would have taken a completely different turn.

And listen up! This is not about making the right or wrong decisions. That’s your ego talking to you. This is about understanding you beneath your ego, your core essence, that which is just outside your “I Am.”

So the real question now becomes what drove those decisions? What had you act in the way you did? It’s your behaviors. If you begin to unearth this you begin to see your beliefs. It is your belief structure that drives your behaviors which drive your actions.

I argue in my book that this is where most psychology begins with someone seeking help to overcome they’re challenges. But is this the root? Is this the core of how we ended up where we are today? No. And if “No” then there must be something that drives our beliefs - right? Maybe you’re beginning to catch on?

The core of everything that has to do with how we ended up here lies within our value system - and not just our value system but our core value system. This is deeper than the conscious mind knows. These are values that drive everything we do in life. These are the drivers that has us choose, most often subconsciously, what we do. These are what truly control our lives.

Digging in, getting to know your true core values is not so simple. They are embedded deep within your mind and by the time you are say 7 years old, are mostly with you for the rest of your life. Can they change? Absolutely!

For instance, severe trauma, or a significant emotional event in your life can instantly re-wire your neurons with a new core value of higher priority than the previous. As a result, how you view the world is instantly changed. Take a moment to reflect right now and you will find how true this is.

Uncovering our true core values can be accomplished. I’ve had it done for me and I’ve done so for others. It’s an arduous process but imperative if you truly wish to understand how it is you have chosen as you have throughout your life. And once uncovered, and seen by the conscious mind for what is probably the very first time, if desired, a change can be made.

Accepting you are exactly where you are supposed to be, is the first step to a new realization that you do have control of your destiny! If you are happy with your life and excited each day, then your core value system is truly aligned with your “I Am.” But if you feel out of alignment, or that statement was more a kick in the pants and you felt a bit offended, then maybe it’s time to unscrew and unearth, begin discovering your authentic truth.

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Intrigued to know more? I encourage you to get my book as I break all this down into concepts, stories, and experiences from my past and others. “Discovering Your Authentic Truth.” Discovering is an action word. Now is your time to take action and begin to understand who you are at a whole new level and create the life you dream of.

Reading

How did we as a nation develop the concept that schooling ends with school? Yet, for most people that is how learning through books is viewed. 

I did some research into adult reading and like all statistics numbers can reflect positively or negatively for whichever point you’re attempting to make. I’ll argue most adults, following their High School or College education, do not crack a book again for the sole intent of “learning.” Multiple studies show we are at our lowest casual reading levels in decades and that trend is continuing.

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You are either growing or decaying - right? How often I write on this. Unless required for work, many of us would rather not have to read to learn again. I definitely fell into that category until about 20 years ago when I was introduced to the world of self-help books. And what did I learn? Just how much wisdom and knowledge available to all of us I didn’t know existed! These books changed my life. 

Self-Improvement books, leadership books and worthy biographies are filled with wisdom, years of travelled experience, captured forever in the written word. An ongoing conversation for the reader to learn the shortcuts to success or simply a more fulfilling and happier life, written by an author who poured his or her learned knowledge and wisdom into their book for us forever - if we choose to read them. 

Without such reading you are left with only one other choice - figure it out on your own. And how much sadness do we see in the world today? It’s everywhere. We often feel we know best until we find ourselves learning yet another hard lesson in life. 

It is impossible to learn everything in one’s lifetime by experience alone. Reading classics such as “As A Man Thinketh,” “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” “Think and Grow Rich,” “The Power of Positive Thinking,” “The Laws of Success,” are a few quick examples of gaining such insights, allowing you greater access to a happier life with the least hardships along the way.

I believe you’ll find most successful entrepreneurs have read each of these or at least employ their concepts. They don’t look towards others to fix their problems. They create a way where there is no way and learn success principles allowing them to create the life they dream of. 

That’s what books of this nature do - they provide a broader horizon in which to tackle our daily lives. With so much suffering going on in today’s world, how different would life be experienced if everyone was filled with such wisdom? 

Here’s a truth I believe fully - an uneducated America will be a rewritten America. I wrote that in response to some of the ignorant statements thrown around last week in regards to our Nation’s Independence Day. Never before in the history of mankind is reading so available to the masses - yet what is the quality of what is being read? You don’t have to look far to find the answer to that.

Change Cannot Be Stopped

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Change

Being alive by definition means Change. Nothing living is stagnant. We may or may not experience a major metamorphosis in our lives but gradually, or slowly, change is happening to each of us. Each day, every day we are choosing who we will become. So a great question to ask yourself consistently is - am I “evolving” or “devolving?”

While on my way to Dallas, a 13 year old girl sitting next to me during the flight was reading the classic (>15 million copies sold), “How to win friends and influence people.”

Aghast!!!

I asked her how she heard of the book and she said her older brother. I asked what she has enjoyed most thus far - “That it was written so long ago and still applies to today” was her response. Wise girl!

I watched her engulfed in the book’s timeless message and life changing approach to living amongst others. She’d read a little, then sit there and contemplate. Fascinating to observe this young girl as she went through about 40 pages in all.

What are you doing right now to evolve? What choices are you making daily to become a better version of you? Powerful questions to ask yourself throughout your day.

Whether involved with a task or improving a relationship, approach it as the most important priority in your life and do your very best to ensure you are evolving, becoming your very best. And then spend a moment in reflection asking yourself what went supreme and what can I improve upon. Evolve 💝

~Namaste

Visions vs Goals

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One of my favorite things to ask is what’s your dream? Your vision for your future?

Some may have one but it is more a wish than a desire for they’ve not a clue of how to make it happen.

But I’d say most do not even have one. Ask those around you! You might be surprised.

Not everyone can see beyond tomorrow or even this day - they’re just getting by. But what happens tomorrow if you don’t have a dream for yourself; not others or family per say, but yourself, your growth, your evolution?

For if you don’t evolve how can you possibly accomplish greatness in others? It has to begin within yourself first.

Spend time on where you want to go - a great place to begin your focus is on 5 years from now, and then work backwards.

Take the time now so you don’t have to take the time later. Sit down with pen and paper and develop a plan. People plan vacations, their TV schedule, their party adventures, but rarely spend time planning their future.

Start with that dream of where you desire to be in 5 years and work backwards all the way to today. When you do so, you begin to create discipline, work ethic, achievable goals, and most importantly the emotion of deserving of success. Because without that “deserving of success” it will remain a wish.